Irrational Fear

It’s funny how often I feel sick these days. Not feverish, or like I have a flu, but I just feel like throwing up.

Someone joked that I could be pregnant.

I also have this constantly nervous, almost sinking feeling in me all the time. This is even stranger, because almost nothing makes me nervous or scared. I can’t describe the feeling very well even. Nervous is mot definitely not the right word. It’s like a little kid, knowing that he’s broken a window, and is dreading his parents coming home, because of the trouble he’ll be in. He knows his parents love him, so they wont send him away, but a punishment is sure to ensue. But now that I put that down in words, even that doesn’t accurately describe it. But I think its pretty close. But I’ve not broken any windows, and my parents are across the seas. I’m old enough not to fear any kind of punishment from anyone.

What am I feeling?

3 thoughts on “Irrational Fear

  1. I feel like that sometimes, too.
    When I was a kid, I used to attribute it to homesickness, but now I don’t really HAVE a home base, so…?
    All I can say is hang in there, Krishna-of-the-quiet-smiles-and-scathing-wit, and find things that make you happy. Every morning is a new one.

  2. You’re moving what amounts to your entire life to a new place. Your parents are 3000miles away. I’d be a little uncertain also. Make a plan, find a route. It doesn’t even matter if it makes sense or it’s a good route so long as you can fix it along the way. The point is to just have a plan so you have some peace of mind that you’ve thought it through. And this doesn’t apply to moving, it’s just life in general. Have some of my German Budweiser. 😉

    Or you’ve been playing DOOM3 with the lights off again. Some of us PAY for that feeling, ya know.

  3. Hi Krish,
    Why are you feeling like this? Sorry to hear that. It is a reaction that most defenitely originates from the mind and that brings about the nervous reaction. Think, what could it be that you are upset or anxiuos about. Conscious deep breathing will help.


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