This is just a rant about my photography class. The course title isn’t Photography 101, but 115. It might as well be 101 though.

There are many things that I dislike about the class. The funny thing is that I started off liking it, and before the term began was really looking forward to it.

So first of all it is taught by this late early-to-mid thirties lady who is a photographer for Philly News. That means she works for a corporation. And she’s teaching what is potentially art photography in college. She is not qualified. At least I believe not. And I’m yet to see examples of her own work in class. Her system of teaching and grading is all just screwed up. Everything is based on her personal preferences. And sure, I’m no photography expert, but the for the landscape assignment, no one shot landscape. And no one seemed to notice. But me.

And oh, she allows digital cameras in the class. Not that it is a bad thing at all. But I believe that all photography should be taught in film. It just gives one a better feeling for it. It is ridiculous to see kids in there with their damn Sony and Canon P&S’s. Of course, these kids always have great photographs. Thats what these cameras are designed for — to let the dumbest retards take a good photograph. Plus it is digital, what ever is not good, just throw away. My dog would have all 10’s too, if he shot 2000 pictures for every week using a camera he could carry around his neck.

And I really resent her preaching her style of photography on us. She ripped of a photo from the board yesterday, that I thought was pretty good, of a Pepsi vending machine. She doesn’t like corporate images. Any one else see the irony in this?

She gave my my grade yesterday, and said sorry. What is she sorry for? That I scored an 8/10? Or that she gave me only that much? Listen, I don’t care what grade you give me, as long as it is a fair one. I thought 8 was fair for this. If she felt sorry about it, obviously she didn’t. If I deserve only an 8, I’ll accept it without griping. Just don’t feel bad about giving it to me. I obviously didn’t work hard enough.

Which brings my back to the focal point. I’ve just not had the time to work on this course as much as I would’ve liked. With 3 grad courses, a senior design course, plus one other mildly heavy workload course, I can’t even find time to play squash. So being ultra creative with my photography isn’t really top priority.

I probably thought of more gripes as I went to bed last night. But I can’t remember them now. But this is good enough for now.

The Eagles lost in Superbowl XXXIX but I can’t fault with the effort they put in. A few crucial interceptions in the first quarter and the very poor defense in the 3rd, ensured that catching up from a 10 point deficit in the 4th would be very hard. I guess the only reason I like the Eagles is because I live in Philly, but I can’t fault the New England Patriots. Everyone stood up and contributed towards their win.

It is funny how the only 10 I’ve gotten in my photography assignments so far is in the first one, where I definitely felt I’d done the poorest job. I couldn’t find landscapes in the city, I was getting used to the camera and it definitely had some problems with it. I put a lot of effort into the still-life and portrait assignments and yet, she didn’t grade them as high. The self-portraits were a disaster, and I’ll agree. I put very little effort into in, but I was fairly surprised at the results…in a good way. Yet, those only scored me an 8. Maybe my pictures lack the creativity of some of the others, but I think technically they are much better than some of the others in the class. Yet, I’m below them. I guess creativity does count for more. I can’t seem to expand my mind to think beyond what I’ve seen. Also, I interpret the assignments a bit too literally. She constantly grades those higher who have not strictly done ‘landscapes’ or ‘portraits’. Eventually I will convert the pictures to digital and post them here.

In the last two days, 4 different people have either told me that I look tired or stressed out. The funniest comment I thought was by Mahavir. I was walking home at night near the DAC and Mahavir was walking towards me. As we approached each other he says, “You look very tired.” Ofcourse this gives me the perfect opportunity to launch into my usual complaints about the amout of work I have and the lack of sleep. He says, “No, you just look tired with life!” I looked down, smiled and said, “Yes…yes, that is true too.” The others to comment also perhaps noticed that I looked stressed, and mentioned so.

I wonder how I look when I look stressed? Is it substantially different from how I look otherwise? Or how am I percieved when I am relaxed?

When I am “relaxed” I’m just not doing as much. I feel more productive now, when I’m constantly trying to play catch up to work. But I also don’t have the time to pursue things I may want to otherwise. I’m just trying to figure out whether I’m happier being “stressed”, eating less, sleeping less, and in general being less healthy. Or am I better of being relaxed, but being an insomniac, doing less, being upset about not doing enough, but having the time to allow my mind to grow laterally?

Contrary to what I expected, I did finish the assignment last night. The official time stamp on my mail box says that it was submitted at 31 seconds past midnight. She can not begrudge me that. How I figured it out, I’ll never know. But finally, luck just turned my way.

I’ve got 3 days off again. With plenty of work to do. Friday is gone because of a prior engagement during the day and work in the evening. So it is back to being a regular weekend.

Oddly, as much as I hated to stress of the last 6 days, now that it is actually over, I miss having something that I’m constantly thinking about. Am I to learn something from that? Either I can keep sane and healthy or go insane and enjoy it, in some cruel, sadistic way.

The last week has been a whirlwind. And not one of those small dust-devil things. I mean a full blown twister, capable of uprooting schedules, minds, lives and everything inbetween. I’ve been asking myself more and more what ever possesed me to do the BS/MS. And what is even more worrisome is that Jayesh, someone whom I generally look to for support when it comes to keeping up with school work, is feeling just as much heat as I am, thought he is taking one less course.

It all started when I took a day off, last Friday. I had no classes anyway that day, so I slept in, went to work in the evening, visited a bar in the night, and had a very interesting conversation with a few Americans at the bar that night. The work started on Saturday, and has not stopped. Much of the grief is being caused by CS 576. The professor is a first rate b*tch who seemed least inclined to help me even when I specifically asked her for it. I am going to try to meet her this evening in her office…hopefully she’ll be better. I’ll go if I don’t fall asleep. It is 6:33 AM and I’ve not slept all night. I’ve been up trying to figure out the first damn assignment for this course.

About an hour and a half ago, I was seriously disheartened. I was considereing dropping the course, and if one more thing had gone wrong, I would have just bundled up in bed and sobbed. That is the extent of the pressure I’m feeling from the classes I have. And I’ve not even started thinking off the two potentially biggest projects of the term.

Okay, so my bitch-fest is over. I am feeling mildly better.

In order to complete my photography assignment, titled natural landscapes, I must have walked a good 4-5 miles today. It’s not easy to find “natural landscapes” in Philadelphia city. I climbed down to the Schuylkill river at Chestnut Street and walked by it all the way past Boathouse row, making detours wherever I saw something interesting. Funnily the entire walk took me only about 3 hours. And I enjoyed myself immensely, even though it was very, very cold. I should do things like that more often. It is a great way to learn about Philly. I just hope my pictures are decent. I’ll post them when I get time.

It is only Wednesday night, but yet I am already reviewing an entire week. It certainly feels like its been that long. Trying to catch up on missed school work, and life in general is very taxing. I’ve got friends to call, paperwork to complete, parties to go to, and clothes to unpack. All of that will still take less time than all the school work in the first three days of class.

But I can not complain. After the way the last term went, it is not surprising that this term is turning out to be just as stressful, if not worse. All the graduate classes are going to be like a full time job, with INFO 607 (Database with Dr.Il-Yeol Song) leading the way. CS 576 and INFO 620 don’t lag far behind either. The photography course is going to be interesting, but that too will be a lot of work and plenty expensive. I just hope that ISYS 425 and ORGB 300 cut me a little slack.

I had my first class with Professor Song today. And he is as Godly in person as all the stories have made him out to be. It is imperative that I create a good impression in this class one way or another.

On a more personal note: things with Maithreyi did not go as I had hoped this December. The only expectation I went back with was to try and salvage a friendship. From the indications I got from her, it seems like she didn’t have similar intentions. The right thing to do now is bow out gracefully. It will only cause more trouble, for her and for me, if I try to pursue a friendship. I just hope she takes care of herself.

From Jayesh’s away message: “it’s the 2nd week of classes… is it possible to feel overwhelmed already?”

That sums up, as well as anything, my return to the US. And to top it off, I’ve missed the first week of class. And Jayesh even has one less class than I have and is usually better and keeping uptodate with work than I am. This is going to be one God-awful term…I can just feel itin my bones. Its 8:30 AM on the first morning of classes for me and what am I eating? Chocolate!

It’s time to bite the bullet and start working like a mad man.